zlonice reacted "crab" to the original poll even though it was not an option. if this gets more votes than any other category I will commit to hosting an originals album titled "crab", the theme of which will be "crab". open to interpretation

let me tell you an old story, a war story picture this: its 2023, yes i know, 100 years ago... back when there were simple flying cars and interstellar travel only went to the bounds of this universe; a peaceful yet prosperous time no one would expect what would be brewing next on january 16th, mankind received messages that were written in no documented interstellar language, and they were unable to decipher what these messages were trying to say so they left it alone all of a sudden, from beneath the crashing waves surrounding the continents of the world, armies of crabs would begin to march on shore and attack humanity with strange crab technologies the countries of the world declared a unanimous state of emergency, and on january 20th, humanity would declare the start of a new war, world war crab

From WPTC News in Arizona, I'm WillThur, and this is All The Things That We Considered. An election was held this week to decide the next album themes for 2023. However, thousands of members decided to band together and elect their own theme. Some community members joined in prayer outside the polls begging God to stop the count. However, the majority of members simply did not care and embraced the absurdity of this election. When the count concluded, "crab" became the most popular theme idea for 2023. An investigation was conducted to identify the activist responsible for the crab movement. The prankster in question is a widely respected hardstyle composer who goes by the online alias "Zlonice". Zlonice turned down our request for interview, but instead released a brief statement on Discord reading "I was the silliest," followed by a crab emoji. It is unclear at the time if "crab" will be the next album. President jaxcheese stated that "crab" is open to interpretation. Many members have given their thoughts on what crab music would sound like. One disagreement led to a violent altercation leaving three dead and four injured. The morning after, religious extremists stormed the capitol chanting hymns in an unknown language. President jaxcheese ordered a temporary curfew in response to the recent events, stating "You are all grounded, think about what you did." The two other most popular choices are ToneyQuest and Pxtunes vs. Game Boy. ToneyQuest, a future RPG starring the Pxtunes mascot Toney, will be the album where each participant composes key themes that express Toney's journey throughout the game. Pxtunes vs. Game Boy is a theme where participants pick a tune from their favorite Game Boy soundtrack and cover it using pxtone or ptCollab. WPTC News: Arizona

oh my gosh guys, welcome back to crab gaming channel today we have a minecraft video on crab mod!!

From WPTC News in Arizona, I'm Wi-... I'm Crab Thursday, and this is All The Things We Considered. Following the Pxtunes theme election, members of congress gathered to decide the first Pxtunes project of 2023. After a grueling 48 hours, an unknown spokesperson emerged from the capitol announcing "crab" as the latest Pxtunes project. The resulting excitement quickly spread across the country. Government officials including president ja🦀cheese changed their names, infusing crustacean terminology with their previous. Strict guidelines are to be followed for all contributions. Music must be composed using pxtone or ptCollab. Choosing to use any other software will result in a criminal sentence. Submissions are due by March 9th, national crab meat day. Late submissions will be incinerated followed by a felony charge. Questions relating to the project may or may not receive a response in greater detail than "crab". Many composers participated in philosophical discussions to better understand the meaning of crab. What is a crab? Why is crab? Where do crabs come from? One discussion turned hasty when the divided sides argued over what makes a true crab a crab. PT-cops successfully escalated the situation beyond reason, making the crowd forget what they were arguing about in the first place. WPTC reporters on scene described the debacle as "silly". Listeners reached out to WPTC news expressing deep concerns relating to the January 6th insurrection. Who are the religious extremists? Where did they come from? Why did they raid the capitol? Their religious leader broke into WPTC news today demanding an interview. Security failed to protect me. I'm currently locked in the studio today with Dr. U-Rah-Eh Eh-Borro, professor of carcinology, high priestess, and mother of 100,000. Crab Thursday: Dr. Eh-Borro, thank you for joining us today. Dr. Eh-Borro: (indecipherable) CT: You were present during the insurrection, is that correct? E-B: (affirmative crab wail) CT: I understand. Is that why you're here today? E-B: (more crab sounds) CT: Interesting. What can you tell us about your religion? E-B: (crab explanation) CT: Wow, that was very beautiful- E-B: (angry crab interjection) CT: I am so very sorry. Please do not pinch me. Continue. E-B: (further crab explanation) CT: You laid eggs underneath the floorboards?? E-B: (crab correction) CT: They aren't your eggs? E-B: (crab elaboration) CT: When will they hatch? E-B: (crab clarification) CT: They won't hatch? E-B: (lengthy crab groaning) CT: Very interesting. Well, given the latest Pxtunes project, what inspiration can you give our composers? E-B: (crab inspiration) CT: (laughs) That's so funny, I didn't know crabs did that. E-B: (crab threat) CT: No, I am not laughing because I am afraid of you. E-B: (crab assertion of dominance) CT: Absolutely, you can have the studio. Lay all the eggs you guys need. E-B: (crab gratification) CT: Can I sign off the air? E-B: (crab permission) WPTC News: Arizona

「かにたちは　 おおいなるきけんを　 しらずにうみへとむかっていく」 "The crabs go to the sea unknowing of the great danger that awaits"

From WPTC News in Arizona, I'm Crab Thursday, and this is... wha? No, NO, HEY! What are you doing!? Stop! No no no no! Don't lay eggs in there, that's our coffee machine! Eh-Borro! Eh-Borro! Please, get them to stop! Eh-Borro! It's too late! No, stop!! (suspicious crab sounds) Hey, no smoking in... how do crabs even smoke? Wait, is that a bong?? (sniffs) Are you smoking pot? (sheepish crab sounds) (sighs) Pass it. (crab social approval sounds) (extremely long bong rip, crab encouragement turns to crab shock then crab concern) (loud coughs) Where did you get that? Oh my g- it tastes like soap! It- ughh! I'm appalled, this is not good stuff. This is gonna put people in the hospital! (sighs) Beginning last week, WPTC news is under new management. I will be stepping down from my position. (angry crab interjection) I- I can't quit? (crab intimidation) Yeah, I know I'm the only human who can speak- (crab demands) I have a second job! (crab dismissal) No, I just can't quit that one, you guys pay me in eggs. (crab protests continue...) What am I gonna buy with eggs?? I'm an elementary school music teacher, I have lesson plans. You want me to just give up on my students? Don't you raise your growls at me. You know what, no no no no no, I'm tired of this, I started this studio, I paid for all this equipment, I brought it all from home, I raised it to what it is today, and you think can just walk in here, lay all the eggs you want? You ripped up all the floors, you dug holes in the linoleum, you dug holes in the concrete, how do you do that? How do you dig holes in the concrete? I don't know, I don't even care, the problem is, there are eggs everywhere, there are eggs in the coffee machine, there are eggs in the toilet, there are eggs in my seat! I sat down today and you laid eggs in my seat! That is not okay, that is a violation of my privacy! I sit in this chair, and there are eggs in my chair- no, stop, stop talking to me, stop, listen! There are eggs in my chair! Why are there eggs in my chair?! You Laid Eggs in my chair! You! You laid eggs! You laid the eggs that I am sitting in right now!

From WPTC News in Arizona, I'm WillThur, and this is All The Things We Considered. Through a series of poorly executed broadcasts, an ancient crab species announced its presence and control over the country. Not only is it appalling that they managed to replace our government, but they did so in a highly disorganized manner. Dr. Uh-Rah-Eh Eh-Borro, professor of carcinology, high priestess, and mother of 100,000, stated "We will release our control over your primitive society if you send forth a formidable gladiator to fight against me in a battle of your choice." Given the nature of our wonderful democracy, the people of pxtone chose me as their formidable gladiator. To make matters worse, Zlonice proposed a rap battle. Since ScarletLotus isn't here to write lyrics for me, the fate of our coutnry was sealed since the conception of this bad idea. Eh-Borro, start us off. (mind-blowing crab bars) (familiar cry) Willthur: Jezebel, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in class! Jezebel: I was worried about you, mister. I was worried. Willthur: Worried about me? Jezebel: Yeah, worried! Willthur: Okay, wh- what are you doing here? (children cheer) Willthur: What are you all doing here!? Student: We wanted to help you! Yo, rap this mister. Willthur: The lament of Gilgamesh?? Student: Yes mister, it's the only way you'll win the rap battle mister! Cannot bear what happened to my friend (friend!), cannot bear what happened to Enkidu. I roam the wilderness in deep grief (grief!), how can my mind have any sleep (sleep!). My beloved friend, turned into clay (clay!), beloved Enkidu, turned into clay (clay!), Won't I too lie down in the dirt (dirt!) like him, succumb to the hurt? (hurt!) Children: Okay guys! Mister, mister get down! (gunfire) Willthur: No!! What are you guys doing! Where did you get guns!? Children: Yeah! Woooo!! Willthur: The studio, you guys are blowing up the studio! Guys, stop! What are you doing! Children: We're savin the country! Willthur: Guys, the crabs are bulletproof! Children: No they're not! Willthur: You're not doing anything! Stop, stop, Jezebel, put down the gun. Put down the gun. Jezebel: No! No! No! (gunfire stops) Willthur: Guys, stop, stop, the crabs are bulletproof! They're bulletproof! Willthur: Okay. This needs to stop. Jezebel, why did you resort to violence? Jezebel: I- I don't know... Willthur: Okay. Eh-Borro, how do you feel? Eh-Borro: (crab regret) Willthur: Okay, umm... here's the deal. Nobody's in trouble. We're just gonna forget about this but, Jezebel, you need to apologize to Dr. Uh-Rah-Eh Eh-Borro. Jezebel: Sorry... Eh-Borro: (crab reciprocation) Willthur: Thank you, thank you Eh-Borro, it's okay, I can rebuild the studio. Just fix our government, put it back together the way it was, and we'll call it even. Sound good? Eh-Borro: (crab agreement) Willthur: Okay, sweet. Umm... WPTC News: Arizona

rat rakovima znaju svi ali kazu da je to historija da se zaboravi dodi meni da ti kazem ja to sto se desilo 2023, 16i dan, i mijesec dva izasli su iz vode sa roboti i kazu da cu ponistit nas za nase grehoti bio sam ja tu na liniju prvu izgubio sam ja nogu i izgubio sam ja svoju mozgu pitao sam ja svoju prijateljicu vidis ti sta se dogada mislis da cu se vratiti svoju kucu ali tad mi strava je se stvorila zato sto moja prijateljica pretvorila u rak to je bilo njihova tehnologija, zvali su to karcinizacija ali iz svemiru su dosli nasega spasosi, i bez brige smo nji ponistili i tako je zavrsilo se rat rakovi zavrsilo je se to na mart deveti, i tako je se znao taj dan "dan meso rakovi" [laughter] hey, why are you laughing? what, you don't believe me or something? ok what, so there were some holdouts until the 16th so it didnt really stop until then, but- but officially it- whatever, get outta here.