WillThur - WPTC NEWS: 2023 Election

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From WPTC News in Arizona, I'm WillThur, and this is All The Things That We Considered.

An election was held this week to decide the next album themes for 2023. However, thousands of members decided to band together and elect their own theme. Some community members joined in prayer outside the polls begging God to stop the count. However, the majority of members simply did not care and embraced the absurdity of this election. When the count concluded, "crab" became the most popular theme idea for 2023.

An investigation was conducted to identify the activist responsible for the crab movement. The prankster in question is a widely respected hardstyle composer who goes by the online alias "Zlonice". Zlonice turned down our request for interview, but instead released a brief statement on Discord reading "I was the silliest," followed by a crab emoji.

It is unclear at the time if "crab" will be the next album. President jaxcheese stated that "crab" is open to interpretation. Many members have given their thoughts on what crab music would sound like. One disagreement led to a violent altercation leaving three dead and four injured. The morning after, religious extremists stormed the capitol chanting hymns in an unknown language. President jaxcheese ordered a temporary curfew in response to the recent events, stating "You are all grounded, think about what you did."

The two other most popular choices are ToneyQuest and Pxtunes vs. Game Boy. ToneyQuest, a future RPG starring the Pxtunes mascot Toney, will be the album where each participant composes key themes that express Toney's journey throughout the game. Pxtunes vs. Game Boy is a theme where participants pick a tune from their favorite Game Boy soundtrack and cover it using pxtone or ptCollab.

WPTC News: Arizona

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from crab, released March 19, 2023

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